


Now Logging In...

by mhnsky



Category: 2NE1, Big Bang (Band), Block B, Epik High, Super Junior, Winner (Band), Z:EA, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Crack, Gen, Multi, Other, Social Networking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4621677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mhnsky/pseuds/mhnsky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A secret, idol only network. Nothing could possibly go wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> There used to be this thing on fanfiction dot net where people would write what it might be like if different fandoms had access to the Internet and Facebook. This is kind of like that, except with idols. On a hypothetical, secure website that no one has access to but them. 
> 
> Yeah, it's not meant to be taken seriously at all, but I hope you like it, all the same. Please let me know what you think of the idea, and what you might like to see out of future 'chapters'! The fandoms and characters listed will be updated as I go along, so please don't think that this is all that's going to be found on the 'site'.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Hyung, do you really think that this is a good idea? It doesn’t seem all that safe...What if the fans find it? They find everything!”

“Ya, I’m the hyung and the _leader_ , so I would definitely know better, right? Besides, I heard from a _reliable source_ that this site is completely secure. There’s absolutely no way that the fans would be able to track it, and even if they did, they wouldn’t be able to realize what they’re seeing, anyway. _No one will know it’s us, got it_?”

“How could they possibly not know? The maknaes aren’t capable of keeping anything important secret.”

“Hyung! How _could_ you? What about that time you --”

“ANYWAY. This sounds like more trouble than anything.”

“No, really; just trust me. This will be a good way to talk, _really_ talk, without everyone dissecting every other word. Other idols, too. There’s already some using it since they released it three months ago, but you haven’t heard anything about it until now, have you?”

“...You raise a compelling point. I guess maybe a _trial run_ couldn’t hurt.”

“I’m glad you see it my way! Now, let’s get started. All you have to do is enter your SSN and it’ll run through the database, authorize you for use, and there you go. No random usernames, etc. Just don’t sign out. Alright, here we go!”

**  
YOU ARE _NOW LOGGING IN . . ._**


	2. Log One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3/5 of BIGBANG joins The Network.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first 'chapter'. I'll be posting the next 'chapter' up in a little bit. After that, I'm not really sure when or how often I'll update. 
> 
> Just so you know, I really DO love Hwang Kwanghee. I thought I would preface with that, just in case anyone has funny thoughts.

**LEE SEUNGHYUN** has joined The Network.  
 **DONG YOUNGBAE** has joined The Network.  
 **KWON JIYONG** has joined The Network.  
                                    _358 people liked this event._

**LEE HYORI** : @ **KWON JIYONG** Ya, what’s taken you so long?!  
                                    _HWANG KWANGHEE, DANIEL LEE, and 152 others like this post._

**KWON JIYONG:** @ **LEE HYORI** ? The party don’t start til I walk in.  
                                  _HWANG KWANGHEE, LEE SEUNGHYUN, and 299 others like this post._

                    **DONG YOUNGBAE** ↵ Please don’t start with the lyrics.  
                    **LEE HYORI** ↵ Even though that’s true, seriously tell me.

 

 **LEE SEUNGHYUN** : Hello!! ^^ Everyone, please be patient with us, because we’re just getting used to this formatting. The reason we haven’t joined until now is because hyung is paranoid.  
                                _HWANG KWANGHEE, LEE HYORI, and 152 others like this status.  
_                  

                  **KWON JIYONG** ↵ YA! I’m not paranoid, just...cautious.  
                  **LEE HYORI** ↵ Thanks, maknae! Tell noona if you need any help, okay?  
                  **KWON JIYONG** ↵ He’s going to need that help soon, noona.  
                  **DONG YOUNGBAE** ↵ It’s too early for murder, Ji.  
                                _HWANG KWANGHEE, LEE SEUNGHYUN, and 456 others like this comment._

**HWANG KWANGHEE** : When will my God follow me????????????????????!!!!111?/  
                            _DONG YOUNGBAE, LEE SEUNGHYUN and 342 others like this status._

                **DONG YOUNGBAE** ↵ God’s always by your side.  
                **CHOI SIWON** ↵ If you pray, then He will answer.  
                **LEE HYORI** ↵ I am 100% sure that’s not what he was talking about…  
                            _HWANG KWANGHEE, LEE SEUNGHYUN, and 587 others like this comment._

**KWON JIYONG** : It’s been five minutes, and I already want to leave.  
                          _LEE HYORI, DONG YOUNGBAE, and 206 others like this status._

                      **LEE SEUNGHYUN** ↵ Hyung, no! You promised!  
                      **DONG YOUNGBAE** ↵ He's right, Jiyong. Just try it for a bit longer.  
                      **HWANG KWANGHEE** ↵ Jiyong, friend! Hi, hello! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?!!?! I hope you’ve had lots of rest, I hope you’ve eaten today! Remember to drink lots of water! Anyway, could you please accept my friend request?                                        
                      **KWON JIYONG** ↵ I literally hate you.  
                                                        _LEE HYORI, LEE SEUNGHYUN, and 436 others like this comment._  
                      **HWANG KWANGHEE** ↵ Haha, you’re so funny ^^

**KWON JIYONG** : I’m moving. How far is the Andromeda Galaxy, again?  
                                            _LEE HYORI, DANIEL LEE, and 374 others like this status._

                              **CHOI SIWON** ↵ Approximately 2.5 million light-years away from Earth.  
                              **LEE HYORI** ↵ … Wow.  
                              **DONG YOUNGBAE** ↵ …  
                              **DANIEL LEE** ↵ …  
                              **LEE SEUNGHYUN** ↵ No. That’s WAY too far, hyung!!!!!!!!!!  
                            **KWON JIYONG** ↵ I take it back. I literally hate EVERYONE.  
                                          _LEE HYORI, DONG YOUNGBAE, and 486 others like this comment._


	3. Log Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeon Jeongguk logs onto The Network, and subsequently has a meltdown. Kim Taehyung is worried. Park Jimin is envious. Min Yoongi won't let anyone live.

**JEON JEONGGUK**  has signed onto The Network.  
**JUNG HOSEOK**  has signed onto The Network.  
  


 **JUNG HOSEOK** : Don’t worry, everyone!! Your hope has arrived!  
_PARK JIMIN, KIM TAEHYUNG, and 154 others like this status._

            **MIN YOONGI** ↵ No one was worried at all, and that joke is dead.  
**KIM SEOKJIN** ↵ You were just asking where he was, Yoongi. And I think the joke’s cute.  
            **MIN YOONGI** ↵ You have to; you’re his mom.  
                                _JUNG HOSEOK, PARK JIMIN, and 309 others like this comment._

 

 **JEON JEONGGUK** : … Anyway. Did I miss anything? I haven’t checked this in a while.  
                **MIN YOONGI** ↵ Yeah. Check your feed from like two days ago.  
                **KIM TAEHYUNG** ↵ Kookie, Kookie! Go like my video, k?  
                **JEON JEONGGUK** ↵ Okay.

**JEON JEONGGUK** has liked **KIM TAEHYUNG** ’s recent activity.

                 **KIM TAEHYUNG** ↵ Yay! Did you like it? ^^  
                **JEON JEONGGUK** ↵ Isn’t that what the like button means?  
                                  _MIN YOONGI, KIM NAMJOON, and 381 others like this comment._

**PARK JIMIN** : @ **JEON JEONGGUK** Tae’s pouting now because of you, I hope you know~ Anyway, did you see it?

                  **JEON JEONGGUK** ↵ But I didn’t do anything? And no, I guess not??  
                  **PARK JIMIN** ↵ Facepalms.  
                  **MIN YOONGI** ↵ Did you really just…? Is it too late to join another group?  
                                    _KIM NAMJOON, JEON JEONGGUK, and 430 others like this comment.  
_                   **PARK JIMIN** ↵ Yes? I mean, he’s in the next room. How else is he suppose to know that he’s _seriously_ missing something  _seriously IMPORTANT_ if I don’t tell him what I did?????? Anyway, @ **JEON JEONGGUK** please refer to these profiles: @ **KWON JIYONG** , @ **DONG YOUNGBAE** , @ **LEE SEUNGHYUN**.

**KWON JIYONG** : @ **PARK JIMIN** ...Who are you, again?  
                                        _DONG YOUNGBAE, DANIEL LEE, and 529 others like this post._  
                    **PARK JIMIN** ↵ Oh my God. Oh my / God /. Oh my G O D. I am so sorry, sunbaenim! I didn’t think you would notice it. I was just...mentioning you and the other BIGBANG sunbaes so that one of my members could follow.  
                    **KWON JIYONG** ↵ Okay??

**PARK JIMIN** : OH MY GOD. I THINK I JUST DIED. IS THIS THE REAL LIFE?????????????????????????  
                                        _JUNG HOSEOK, HWANG KWANGHEE, and 384 others liked this status._  
                    **MIN YOONGI** ↵ Chill. It’s not like he proposed.  
                                        _KIM NAMJOON, LEE HYORI, and 538 others like this comment._

**KWON JIYONG** is now friends with **JEON JEONGGUK**.  
                                        _PARK JIMIN, HWANG KWANGHEE, and 484 others like this event._

                      **PARK JIMIN** ↵ OH MY GOD. KOOKIE. KOOKIE. KOOKIE. AR EYOU OKA Y ?????????????  
                      **LEE HYORI** ↵ Shouldn’t we be asking you that…?  
                                        _MIN YOONGI, KIM NAMJOON, and 399 others like this comment._  
                    **HWANG KWANGHEE** ↵ Jiyong!? Be my friend, too! ^^  
                    **LEE HYORI** ↵ Oh, sweetie. Better luck in the next life.  
                                        _MIN YOONGI, LEE SEUNGHYUN, and 157 others like this comment._

 

 **KIM TAEHYUNG** : @ **JEON JEONGGUK** Kookie, Jiminnie thinks you’ve died. You haven’t, right? RIGHT?!  
                                      _KIM SEOKJIN, JUNG HOSEOK, and 241 others like this post._

                    **MIN YOONGI** ↵ If you walked out of the room for literally five seconds, you’ll hear the sound of Jeongguk having a meltdown in the living room.  
                                    _KIM NAMJOON, PARK JIMIN, and 599 others like this comment._  
                    **KIM TAEHYUNG**  ↵ Oh. Okay. Thanks, hyung ^^ I think I’ll join him.  
                    **MIN YOONGI** ↵ Have a blast.

**DONG YOUNGBAE** and **LEE SEUNGHYUN** are now friends with **JEON JEONGGUK** , **MIN YOONGI** , **GOO HARA** , and **25 others**.  
                                    _PARK JIMIN, LEE HYORI, and 601 others like this event._

                     **PARK JIMIN** ↵ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How.  
                    **MIN YOONGI** ↵ Swag.  
                                    _KIM NAMJOON, JUNG HOSEOK, and 362 others like this comment._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTS has arrived! I was going to pull a Namjoon saying, "They have jams" at the end, but I thought better of it, lmao. 
> 
> Hm. Who do you want it to mainly focus around the next time? I think that after this, instead of trying to 'introduce' every single group/idol to The Network, I'm just going to get right into it. Probably this story will be non-linear, so timelines might not always match. Anyway, it's kind of late, so I'm going to head off.


	4. Log Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zico can't tolerate Black Nut. Jimin is thirsty. So is Kwanghee. Not everyone gets to live.

**SONG MINHO** has signed onto The Network.

 

 **SONG MINHO** :@ **DONG YOUNGBAE** Thanks for all the help, hyung!  
_DONG YOUNGBAE, KWON JIYONG, and 368 others like this post._

                         **DONG YOUNGBAE** ↵ No problem! You did well. YG Family, fighting!  
_SONG MINHO, LEE SEUNGHYUN, and 200 others like this comment._

 

 **KWON JIYONG** : I swear, if one more person asks me about Bieber...   
_SONG MINHO, DONG YOUNGBAE, and 573 others like this status._

                          **LEE CHAERIN** ↵ Don't take it out on him, oppa. He's just a kid.  
                          **KWON JIYONG** ↵ I wasn't going to threaten him with bodily harm. So much trust.  
                          **LEE CHAERIN** ↵ ... You were going to blame it on @LEE SEUNGHYUN, weren't you.  
                          **KWON JIYONG** ↵ Ah, really, you know me too well.  
                                                       _DONG YOUNGBAE, LEE CHAERIN, and 318 others like this comment._  
                          **LEE SEUNGHYUN** ↵ HYUUUUUUUUUUUUUNG! ( ≧Д≦)

 

 **KIM DAEWOONG** : What does it matter? Everyone getting all hyped up, when @SONG MINHO's just going to win anyway.

                          **WOO JIHO** ↵ Really? You're going to continue to bitch, even here? Too much. Go back to your mama, baby boy.  
                          **LEE CHAERIN** ↵ Who is this nobody? Weren't you eliminated already?  
                                                        _KWON JIYONG, WOO JIHO and 459 others like this comment._  
                          **SONG MINHO** ↵ LOL. It's okay! Let's just worry about ourselves. In the end, it's the best man that will win.

 

 **DONG YOUNGBAE** : Anyway, he is WINNER, after all.   
                                                        _SONG MINHO, WOO JIHO, and 586 others like this status._

                           **KWON JIYONG** ↵ Really, you like that too much. You've been hanging around Seunghyun-hyung too much these days.  
                           **DONG YOUNGBAE** ↵ Someone has to keep an eye on him.  
                                                         _LEE CHAERIN, DANIEL LEE, and 203 others like this comment._

 

 **PARK JIMIN** : @ **DONG YOUNGBAE** Um...Excuse me, sunbaenim? Could you please friend me back???? It would mean so much!   
                                                         _MIN YOONGI, LEE CHAERIN, and 248 others like this post.  
_

                             **MIN YOONGI** ↵ Do you even know how desperate you sound right now?  
                                                         _KIM NAMJOON, JEON JEONGGUK, and 320 others like this comment._  
                             **PARK JIMIN** ↵ IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH WANTING THE PERSON YOU RESPECT & ADMIRE TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR EXISTENCE???????????????/!   
                             **KIM SEOKJIN** ↵ You know, that's probably how our fans feel, too. You should remember that from now on, kids.  
                             **MIN YOONGI** ↵ You're not  _really_ our mom, you know?  
                                                          _PARK JIMIN, JEON JEONGGUK, and 174 others like this comment._

 

 **PARK JIMIN** has left 50 comments on  **DONG YOUNGBAE** 's wall.  
                                                           _JUNG HOSEOK, KIM NAMJOON, and 307 others like this event._

                              **KIM NAMJOON** ↵ Wow, Jimin...That's what I call obsession. If you were this dedicated to @JEON JEONGGUK, you two might be going out, by now.       
                                                           _MIN YOONGI, JUNG HOSEOK, and 125 others like this comment._  
                              **PARK JIMIN** ↵ THIS AND THAT ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS ENTIRELY!!!!!!! Besides, I don't want to  _date_ Jeongguk. I'm not like that!!  
                              **MIN YOONGI** ↵ Lmao, okay, Jimin.  
                                                          _KIM NAMJOON, KIM SEOKJIN, and 569 others like this comment._

 

 **DONG YOUNGBAE** is now friends with **PARK JIMIN**.  
                                                             _KIM TAEHYUNG, HWANG KWANGHEE, and 394 others like this event._  
                              

 **PARK JIMIN** ↵ oH MY GOD. THANK YOU, SUNBAENIM!!!!!!!!!   
                               **DONG YOUNGBAE** ↵ Ha. No problem?  
                               **MIN YOONGI** ↵ I bet he only did it to stop getting the notifications of your thirst.  
                                                              _KIM NAMJOON, JEON JEONGGUK, and 489 others like this comment._

 

 **HWANG KWANGHEE** :People's dreams are coming true, and it's kind of beautiful, but it's my turn now! @ **KWON JIYONG** PLEASE BE MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!! I promise to be cool about it. I'll only message you if you message me first, just please.  
  **  
**

**KIM DAEWOONG** ↵ I just love the smell of desperation in the morning.  
 **WOO JIHO** ↵ It's one you're very familiar with, isn't it?  
                                                                _LEE SEUNGHYUN, LEE CHAERIN, and 238 others like this comment._ _  
_

**KWON JIYONG** is now friends with **HWANG KWANGHEE**. 

 **HWANG KWANGHEE** : @ **KWON JIYONG** OH MY GO DSKAJI TH AN K IOY SI OM CUHN M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 **KWON JIYONG** is no longer friends with **HWANG KWANGHEE**.

 **KWON JIYONG** : Oops. Pressed the wrong button.  
                                                                _DONG YOUNGBAE, SONG MINHO, and 576 others like this status._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I have no excuses. Hope you enjoyed? ^^


End file.
